A story for Miss J

Tomorrow I’ll write you a story.  A story that you will keep.  I think you will like it, even if it’s just because I wrote it for you and no-one else.  It’s something you don’t have to share – it’s all yours.  From me.

I know that you think I’m clever now and we get along just great.  Even as I am writing, you are lying in bed beside me fighting sleep because you know that I’m awake.  You will wait until I turn out the light and then we will fall asleep together.  You like it when we do things together.  I hope it stays like that but I’m realistic enough to know that there will come a day when you might be embarrassed to be seen with me.  Not that it won’t break my heart.  It will.  I already feel sad in anticipation.  I look at your almost five year old face and my heart swells with love.  I can feel my chest fill up so that it hurts to breathe.  As if my love for you has filled my lungs and left no room for air.

Will we still be friends though your teenage years?  Will we be friends after them?  I don’t mean BFFs or whatever you will call them.  I am your mother first and foremost after all.  But right now we have a loving admiration for each other and are great in each other’s company.  We laugh at each other’s jokes, we play games together and we have lovely talks.  I hope we can always do that at whatever stage of life either of us is at.  That no matter what devils are knocking on our respective doors, we will still be able to give each other the time of day and appreciate the happiness, the deep satisfaction that we bring to one another.

So tomorrow I will write you a story and I will keep it with my notes.  One day you will read them and I hope you read your story and like it.  I hope you will remember how much I love you.

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