D. DogsPosted: April 5, 2011
How original. I don’t think my friend would like being called a dog somehow, but that’s all I can think of at the moment. By using the third letter of my name (which is the letter D) to describe my friend, all I can come up with is Dogs. Deefa dogs.
Do you remember that? There was always a story at school how someone had named their pet deefa dog, or ceefa cat, beefa bird, etc. It was hilariously funny the first time you hear it and then you hear it over and over and realise it’s not that original. And those people who delighted you with their fantastic sense of humour? They’re not so funny anymore.
Pat the Cat? Yeah, that’s a good one. Chairman Meow? I think that’s my favourite, but they’re hardly original either.
I once watched some crazy dog show where a woman on it had named her dog Michael. Really? Who looks into a little four legged beasties hairy face with a wet nose and bad breath and gives them a proper formal person’s name?
Oh yes, you look like a Michael. You can come home with me and meet the siamese twins Trevor and Kevin, and the little hamsters Susan and Lucy. Oh, yes you can!
You can just hear it: Yes Mother, I have loads of friends: Kev and Trev were out hunting all day yesterday, Susan was sooooo funny last night and Lucy is good even if she is a bit jealous of the attention that I pay to the others.
Heh. Maybe that’s why she does it, to keep her mum off her back. Or maybe she named them after her favourite tv characters, or she killed her whole family and named the pets after them, or maybe, MAYBE SHE ISN’T REAL. Goddamn bloody Facebook wasting all my time!
I’ve got an assignment to do.